this other time when i rambled about nothing.

(not mine. found here.)

if you know me, you know that i love to do that whole retrospect/perspective thing where i remember the good times in the past (sometimes the bad too) and compare that to where i am now. and then remark on how crazy it is.
i'm pretty sure 95% of the sentences that i said to emy past 10 pm started with "isn't it crazy that...(fill in the blank with something about last year/yesterday/last boyfriend/last apartment, etc.)?" and emy would always say something (or think something) to the extent of - it's not that crazy, because you're here. and where else would you be? (except it was much more eloquent - she IS an english major guys).
and she's right. i am here. i am right where i should be.
because where else would i be but right where i should be?

and while i do kind of understand that whole "i don't know where i'd be without...(insert something here)." thing - because like...jonathan. whoa. he's a life changer, that one.
but again - of course i don't know where i'd be without him because i'm not there.
i'm here. with him.
(and getting married in 38 days thankyouverymuch.)

is this making any sense?
probably not.
just smile and nod.

anyway - what i'm trying to get at is that i could do a whole blog post full of things like:
"it's crazy that i always said i was going to get married when i was 23 and i'm getting married when i'm 23." (coincidence, i swear. 23 is just my favorite number.)
"it's crazy that i stayed at byu in that ward (even though i didn't want to) so that i could meet jonathan so that we could fall in love and so that we could get married."
etc. etc. etc. etc.
but guess what?!?!
i'm not going to - because it's not so crazy.
this IS my life.
not a hypothetical or even a question.
just a statement.


Selena said...

actually it is craaaazy and I think in response to this craziness, you should make things crazier by walking around byu campus and telling each person you walk by that you think your life is better than theirs. cuz at this moment, I'm sure it is! I mean, you're getting mawried and they're still stuck in school. the end.

Emerald said...

I miss these late at night discussions/delusion fests of ours. And ps, you make perfect sense.